


it happens to everyone (but not to me)

by peradi



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Castiel is old, Castiel is top, Fallen Castiel, Human Castiel, Humor, Insinuations of anal sex, Like old as balls, M/M, dean has a bottom, dean is a bottom, season nine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-01
Updated: 2015-11-01
Packaged: 2018-04-29 08:55:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5122367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peradi/pseuds/peradi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel isn't that old, damn it. He's barely five millenia. This sort of stuff isn't meant to happen. </p><p>Dean's just endlessly amused.</p>
            </blockquote>





	it happens to everyone (but not to me)

"Dude," says Dean. "I can't -- "

"Shut up," says Castiel.  _Growls_ Castiel. His voice is getting that low, grungy, twenty-an-hour tone that normally  _melts_ Dean. But that, coupled with the -- uh -- circumstances, just makes Dean think of old men shouting  _get off my lawn_ and all he can do is laugh. 

"It is the human body," says Castiel. "It is flawed. Frangible. Not built for -- "

"--sex?" says Dean. "Cas -- "

"It hurts," pouts Castiel. He presses his knuckles into the small of his back. His face is nothing but woeful. 

"Cas -- I'm fine. I mean, my ass is a little sore but..." Dean trails off, shrugs. "But I'm fine now. Like, I can walk."

"I can walk," Cas says. He stands. Tries to. Cries out, sharp and clear. "Oh  _father_ ," he whines, and that makes Dean think of  _Daddy_ and that just makes him flush, pink riding high on his cheeks. 

"Cas, you threw your back out fucking me through the mattress. You pulled a muscle in your back  _fucking me_."

Castiel flops back down. "I do not like being fallen."

Dean bites his earlobe, smirks against the warm curve of his former-angel's neck. "There are perks," he says, worming a hand between Cas's legs. 

Castiel flinches. "Dean, no. I want a warm bath. And some hot cocoa." Dean sighs, stands, and obliges. 

Cas collapses back into bed. His eyes shutter closed. 

He's only five millenia. This just isn't  _fair_.


End file.
